1/30/10--We go trashy

Well, we are staying at the Oasis Palms on Treasure Island, an islet outside St. Pete, and to describe it, well, let me just say that we went to the Publix just now as we shall eat in, and as we pulled up to park by our "suite" two police cars came screaming up with lights flashing. They hustled out of the cars in full battle gear and disappeared into what I think is one of the units. What can I say.

We have a two bedroom suite for $100. And we are actually thinking about staying a second night. At least, before the cop cars. It is one of those old Florida motels that underwent a facelift two years ago, so they say. It is what I like about Florida. Nothing good has been done here in the last 30 years. We drove over to the Gulf Coast to Port Richey and drove down the coast thru Tarpon Springs and Dunedin, etc. and saw a lot of the old Florida. We like it. But then you get over to the series of islets that run along the coast, ending down by Treasure Island and most of it is "new" Florida, interspersed with places like the Oasis Palms.

Above are Peggy and Wallie out front.

We found what is to us a new fast food experience, Boston Market, that puts all of the others to shame. It gives you the flavor of the place. All the raisins get a chicken dinner combo for $5.00. You really can't beat it. We ordered off the senior menu at the Waffle House this morning.

Last night we had the Buffet at the Ramada Maingate, while they were doing Karaoke night about fifty feet away. I enjoyed the roast beef and mashed potato until Peg pointed out the mashed potatoes were powder. $11.99 apiece.

I really think we're ready for retirement.

1/29/10--The Land of the Raisins

Well, my wife arrived tonight on Allegiant Air, and all is well with my world, altho Wallie wants to know who this woman is and why she keeps hugging him.

Last night was the night from hell. St. Augustine Beach is on the beach, alright. But it gets thumbs down.The St. Augustine Beach Resort is way past it's prime and I'm guessing they were doing well if 20% of the rooms were filled. So they obviously are looking for other ways to generate money. They choose to cater to the local 20 something singles swingers crowd. I had a room beachside and I noticed about 20 yards away a veranda with tables.

Well, about 11 pm, after I had fallen asleep, this god awful racket woke me. It was coming from the veranda where a dj had set up and was booming rock music to a crowd of tanked up and riotous young people. It went on until 2 am. Icalled and screamed at the night clerk, but it quickly became evident that they were generating a lot more from the bar than from the rooms, because he didn't give a crap.

What is it with old white guys and young latino men fishing from piers and from the beach? I did a survey driving down A1A from St. Augustine to Daytona Beach. It's a big deal, but only for Old White men and young Latino men. But wait, all their wives are at the flea markets while their men are catching dinner.

The beach communities between Jacksonville and Daytona? Thumbs down. We won't be staying anywhere below Amelia Island.

It's nice having Peg here. We're staying at the RamadaInn Maingate Kissimmee. $35 a night. Caters to young families that cannot afford to stay on the Disney grounds. Tomorrow Peg picks.

1/27/10--Into Florida

Well, I stayed on Hilton Head Island last night and tonight I am on Amelia Island. The results are in. Hilton Head. Thumbs down. Amelia Island. Thumbs up. Why the difference? Both are resort islands. But Hilton Head is Rodeo Drive and Amelia Island is Route One. Does that make sense? Hilton Head wasn't helped by the fact that I never saw the beach. Not once. And I wasn't on Amelia Island more than 5 minutes before Wallie and I were cavorting on a beautiful white sand beach.

Hilton Head is really built up, with exclusive golf resorts with gates and guards,or huge mansions blocking the way to the beach. Yes, there are public access ways every so often to the beach, but no place to park, with signs on these narrow roadways saying no parking. Obviously the access points are only meant for those residents only able to spend a mil or two for non-ocean front property. Not for peons like me staying inland at a Red Roof Inn. Now, I know there must be public beaches somewhere, but I never found them.

And the Red Roof Inn was the first place I've stayed where there was no complimentary breakfast. So I programmed the closest Piggly Wiggly into my GPS. It takes me to one of these chic little malls they have, not like we know a mall, but one story, tree lined, no large signs for the stores, all boutiques style places, not TJ Maxx or Walmarts. Now, there is a sign at entrance to the mall saying "Piggly Wiggly". But I drove around that mall for an hour and couldn't find it. It's like a rabbit warren. I even asked this nice old lady where it was, and she said "Oh, go around this corner and that corner,and there it is". Well, no it wasn't.

So finally I go to a grocery store called BI LO. The guys in the store are all wearing $100 golf shirts and gold rolexes. Me in my $19.95 polo shirt and Seiko watch. I was just uncomfortable the whole time.

Amelia Island is different. I'm staying at a Days Inn literally a hundred feet from the ocean. Picture above. The kind of place I have been staying. Not posh,but adequate. Not on the ocean, but across the street. For $49. You wouldn't find that on Hilton Head. So it's a keeper.

Tomorrow I go to St. Augustine Beach, on the beach, for $49.

1/26/10--I Fall In Love

Well, today was an historic day. Today I declare my independence from caring about politics and become a son of the south. Obama and the House Democrats have not just broken my heart, they tore it from my chest and spit on it. So I am eschewing any further allegience to the Democrat Party and become a son of the South. No longer will I care when elderly women motel clerks ask me if I don't just love that Sarah Palin. Why, yes! She's just peachy, I say.

Why have I done this? Because I have fallen in love with Edisto Island. It is the perfect place to spend the winters. You drive across this huge bridge onto the island and it is another 15 minutes before you really see any sign of civilization (not quite, but almost). No malls. No large grocery stores. No motels. Just preserved land until you get to Edisto Beach. See the beach above. So I will winter here from now on. People's political views will not bother me. I will join the Southern Baptist Church. I will be happy.

Wallie is a crazy guy when he gets on the beach. While I called Peg he ran around me in circles until I was trussed up like a pork roast. Then he likes to run full tilt to the end of his leash and then run back at you and launch himself at you, butting you in the chest. He thinks that's funny.

Wallie wants his dinner. I'll write later.

1/25/10--Myrtle Beach to Charleston

Mid 60s. Sunny. 'Nuff said.

Anecdote of the day: So I stop at a Hardees for lunch. That's like MacD's, BK, Wendy's, with a southern twist I guess. The place is deserted, accept for the Asst. Manager and a girl working the fry pit. So they have this thing called the "thick burger". Okay, I'll try it, hold the fries. I'm on a diet. I get it to go because it's nice out and Wallie's in the car. It comes and I take it out to the car, and open the bag. Now, first of all, she didn't put any napkins in the bag. Aren't they supposed to do that? Second, this is the messiest burger I have ever had, and I've got Wallie with his nose a quarter inch away from my nose the whole time, just to add a little tension to the whole thing. I cannot control that burger. There is catsup and mustard all over my face and hands, and I have no napkins. Remember that Seinfeld episode where George is at Yankee Stadium and they catch him on the big screen eating a hot fudge sunday, with fudge smeared all over his face? That's me. And I am convinced that they're watching me inside, laughing their guts out.

There's nothing for it but to go in to the bathroom and clean up. I walk thru the door and neither the manager or fry cook will make eye contact, but the asst. manager says "Bathroom is in the back, sir." They're very respectful down here in the South.

Okay, the weather is to die for. And the beachesat Myrtle Beach and on down the coast in Surfside and Garden City are wide, packed sand, and endless. I love it here and I am coming back next February for a month. Okay, Peg? Now, granted, Myrtle Beach is a more northern version of Miami Beach. But, hey, when you've got a killer beach and good weather, that's what happens. It's a trade-off. Maybe Garden City is a shade less tacky, so okay, Peg, I'll compromise. And Murrell's Inlet which is separated from the coast by marshland is really very nice, no highrises, etc. We'll work something out. And every where you go there are vacancy signs. I'm driving down these roads by the shore with resorts all over, and hardly any traffic on the roads. So I think there are deals to be had.

Above is Wallie on the beach, and a view of the highrises interspersed with residential areas.

Tomorrow I go to Edisto Island, and end up in Hilton Head at a Red Roof Inn for $40!

1/24/10

10 am. 63 degrees. Sunny. Gets to 68 by mid-afternoon, and it gets rainy. I can live like this.

Okay. New Bern and Wilmington, NC are keepers. New Bern was colonial and state capitol of NC until 1794,and was a thriving commercial hub. It appears to be on an estuary. Nice colonial and post colonial homes and neighborhoods. Pop. of 23,000. Above is Wallie in front of the John Stanly House. It was captured during the battle of New Bern during Civil War and occupied by Federal Troops. General Burnside occupied this residence as his headquarters. Fits into my CivilWar theme.

Wilmington, NC. Home of the Battleship North Carolina. See pics above. 'Nuff said. Fits into my military theme. Camp Lejeune is in the area. It is also colonial era town of 75,000. Very charming. During the War Between the States it was a major port for Confederate blockade runners. Again fits in to my theme.

My anecdote of the day. Steve, pay attention. I sometimes interact with locals, albeit accidentally. I park on the side of the road in a parking space and in front of a residence. I call Peg and talk for a few minutes and then hang up. I am programming the GPS for Wilmington when I hear the passenger door opening and Wallie barks. I look over and there is this old fart starting to sit on Wallie! I go "Huh?" (that's my interaction). He starts and says to me "What are you doing in my sons car? What have you done with him?" Just then an identical blue Cobalt pulls up behind me and a guy my age gets out and runs over and says "Pop, that's the wrong car! Let's go to church." The guy, mumbling, walks back to the other car. The son is very apologetic, and says his Dad is 90 and sometimes a little vague. I say "No problem. I've got the same thing at home."

Question. Who am I talking about?

1/23/10--Breeching the Wall

Well, shortly after 10am I passed over into that foreign country known as Dixie. As soon as you cross the Maryland/Virginia line on the Eastern Peninsula you meet your first rebel flag, right beside the Welcome to Virginia sign. Oh,how joyful it must be to be a person of color in this land. Virginia and NC actually voted for Obama? I know, it's not about slavery, it's about their heritage. Reminds me of our trip down the Natchez Trace to Natchez MS during the week in the Spring when they open the fancy plantation houses to visitors. We actually stayed at one that was a B and B. A very nice, elderly woman who had married a NJ physician and lived in the north for decades before he died owned it. She gave us directions that included "turn left at the church". So we came upon this very nice and tidy little church and turned left and got hopelessly lost. So we called the lady and described the church to her and she said "Oh, my, that's the colored church! I wouldn't have meant that!" Stupid us.

Coming down the Peninsula I turned left off the main highway and wended my way down the narrow country byways (and they are very narrow) to the repeated refrain of "recalculating". A lot of farmland interspersed with the occasional southern mcmansion, a lot of old trailors and "shotgun" houses.The genteel and the dirt poor apparently intermingle thru here. Nice, but no place to winter.

The pictures are of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and Tunnels. You may wonder why I always pose Wallie in the driver's seat. Well first because he is in the driver's seat and second because I haven't figured how to pose him otherwise without him running off. I suppose I could actually speak to other people and make friends and have them hold gthe leash.....No...

One of my themes on this trip is AM Radio. I really don't like FM. I can never find a station with music I like. And most of the talk shows (which I do like) are on AM, plus Johnny Cash/Waylon Jennings era country (vs the modern trash), and golden oldies. So I'm listening to nothing but AM. Oh, and also lots of gospel music, both "White" gospel and "Black". I got to tell you, Black gospel has it all over White. White gospel is stern and forbidding; Black is joyous and uplifting. I love it.

I'm in Greenville, NC tonight. Nothing special. It's off the list. But tomorrow I go to Myrtle Beach SC where I've got a room just off the beach for $41.80 and no pet fee. You can't beat that with a stick.

For those following me down south a piece of advice. You have to try the chicken fried steak. Or is it steak fried chicken? Anyway, it is to die for. I mean it. You will die if you eat it more than once. It's like grits, you have to experience it just to know how bad it is.

1/22/10--Over the Mason Dixon!

So I'm into Maryland for the night, at a Best Western in Salisbury. Not bad, 40 bucks a night plus $10 for the Waller. last night when I told my bro Pennell that I planned to start at around 8 am he just laughed. He said I would either start at 5 am or before, or not until 9:30 am, as I would otherwise be stuck in gridlock for hours. So I started at 9:30. Pretty much I-95 until I went over the Delaware River at about 2. Then Route 13 thru Delaware, a four lane highway with traffic lights overy few miles.

My observations of Delaware. It's flat. Thought I was visiting the Flatlanders in Ohio. Kept looking for cornstalks. Even tho it is not quite the south, you're getting there. Passed the Dover International Speedway. The further south you get you realize that the NFL is king only in parts of America. In the rest NASCAR is king. That place is huge. Delaware is off the list.

When I started out this morning I noticed every once in a while I would hear a pinging noise. Looked at the dash but this is a Chevy. It only has a tach and speedometer. Not even a trip meter. No gauges like a real car. So for all I know the ping means that I am overheating or the oil is dangerously low. So Iworry about it for an hour or so. Then realize there is a little light below the radio that says that the passenger's air bag is either on or off. Apparently there is a sensor in the seat triggered by the weight of a passenger that turns air bag on or off, or maybe it senses whether the weight is that of an adult or baby and turns it off if a baby. And Wallie shifting around on the seat is turning it on and off. I think when it is turned on and the lap belt is not used it pings to warn the passenger. So what to do. The pinging is driving me nuts. So I put Wallie in the trunk.

Just kidding. Couple of hours go by while I think on it. Then it hits me. Pull the lap belt across and click it in. I'm a rocket scientist.

To address some concerns of my siblings. To Pennell. No, I am not John Steinbeck. Steinbeck, when travelling, actually talked to people and wrote about it. Since I left Connecticut I have talked to the cashier at Roy Rogers and the clerk at the motel. What can I say.

To Faith. Yes, Wallie has a lap belt. He really likes it.

The pictures above are Wallie at the Mollie Ivens Service Area on the NJ Turnpike (Or is that Molly Pitcher?).

1/21/10--on the Road Again

So I loaded up the rental car this morning, then went over to the old folks home and loaded up the old broad, and set off with Wallie on the first leg of the journey. Wallie was not a happy camper. Mother was sitting in his front seat and just would not move! Nor would she free her lap for his use. He sulked in the back seat for hours until he finally brightened up when I told him she would be gone tomorrow. Not much to say about this leg of he trip, as it was endless Interstate for six hours. My plan is to use the first day and a half to get to where the real trip starts, ie Maryland. Then we go off interstate and emulate John Steinbeck. Travel secondary roads as much as possible looking for a place for two old farts to spend winters in their declining years.

The pictures are of Wallie getting ready for the long journey, and my niece Marion and her dog Sadie. Wallie has made Sadie's life a living hell since we got to our rest stop.

Planning the trip

That's me and Wallie above. You guess which is which

For the last few years I have been bitching about the harsh winters we've been having in Maine. But since my wife lives off the public tit (works for the government) and can't retire for four years, we've had to endure the winters while enjoying the summers on our seaside estate on Campobello Island. Over the summer we lost our dogs Anna Mae and Duncan (a springer spanial and cairn terrier), but gained a nut in the form of a year and a half old brindle scottish terrier who loves the snow but also likes to travel. So it seemed the perfect time to, as they say at Delta Tau Chi, go on a road trip, in search of the perfect location to settle our plump butts for the winter after retirement. So, on January 21, Wallace aka Wallie and I hit the trail in search of a winter hideout where the snow don't fall and the mean daily temp is at least 50 degrees.

The idea is to zip thru New England, NY, New Joisey, and Pennsylvania at warp speed, and then ease back to cruising speed thru Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, North and South Carolina and Georgia looking for small towns or villages that look like a nice place to park our butts from Thanksgiving to Easter each year. All the while posting pictures of Wallie in front of kitschy locales like, say, Pedros South of the Border.

Eventually I will pick my wife up at the airport in Sanford, Florida on the 29th of January and we will spend a week meandering down to Fort Myers where we will take the ferry to Key West for a few days. Wallie, alas, will have to ride the ferry in his crate.

After that I will figure how to get back to Maine.